30 before 30 update: whomp whomp

Goal #20 on my 30 before 30 list: “Keep a plant alive for more than a year.”

Goal #20 is not off to a great start, people.

RIP, you poor little succulent.


(Thankfully, my ivy or whatever that plant is- I’m trying not to even look at it so as to spare it from whatever deadly plant-killing curse I am under- is still thriving.)


30 before 30 update: green thumbs, brown thumbs

Goal #20 on my 30 before 30 list: “Keep a plant alive for more than a year.” This one’s going to be a real challenge for me, people. I have owned many plants over my twenty-seven point something years of existence and they have never managed to survive longer than a few months. You could say I have a brown thumb. I am ze plant killaaa. But I am determined to overcome this challenge.

Two months ago, I bought a succulent and another cactus. I figured I should start at a nice easy level. Succulents are supposed to be hardy and low maintenance, right? Every basic millennial seems to have one, and let’s be real we’ve barely figured out how to feed ourselves and get out of bed in time for work. I can do this.

Here they are, lookin’ pretty with an instagram filter, awww. New plant babies!!!


Well, that was two months ago. Fast forward. The bigger cactus is looking okay, but the smaller one has some droopy yellow and brownish looking leaves. It looks a bit sickly. I’m thinking the little pretty square glass container I originally planted it in might not have been the best home for it. So my little cactus family has now moved into new homes: less pretty but more functional flower pots with room to grow and drainage holes at the bottom.


Here’s hoping they hang in there! Because I can’t help thinking of this Dmitri Martin comedy moment: “About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed because I was like ‘Damn! I am less nurturing than a desert.'”

Too real. Too real.

This ivy thingy, on the other hand, seems to be doing quite well. I was given this one as a housewarming gift and told to throw a cup of water in it every Saturday and otherwise leave it alone. I’ve done that and it’s thriving! This might be my first plant to make it past its first birthday.